Why Malik Shouldn't Play with Peanut Butter
by Riss Ishtar
Summary: Marik comes home and finds Malik in the kitchen playing with peanut butter. rated for language, also a bit OOC.
1. Peanut Butter

Riss: Ok Ryou, would you be so kind as to please tell the readers the disclaimer.

Ryou: okies Riss-sama /clears his throat / Riss doesn't own Yu Gi Oh ( as much as she wish she did ) So please don't sue her

Riss: Thanks Ryou-kun. Now on to the fic!

**Why Malik shouldn't play with Peanut butter**

It was late afternoon at the Ishtar's residence. Loud snickering could be heard from the kitchen soon followed by the loud whirling sound of the blender and then a 'splat' and then another fit of evil laughter.

Marik Ishtar had just pulled into the driveway of his, Isis, and his yami's home. He gathered the few bags of groceries that he had picked up wile on his way home from the Kami game shop. He closed the door to his lavender colored punch buggie and then dug in his left pocket for the house keys. He opened the door and called out "Hey Malik get off your lazy ass and help me with the groceries!" The only respond he got was the sound of the blender going and then a 'splat' and then Malik's cackling.

"Malik? What are you..." He didn't get to finish his sentence before a look of shock hit him and the bags dropped to the ground. There was Malik, sitting on the floor of the kitchen with the blender and 5, now empty, containers of peanut butter. "Malik! What the fuck happened here!" He fumed.

He was just about to yell at his yami some more, but something plopped on top of his head, making him stop speaking. He reached his right hand to the top of his well-groomed, blond hair. 'Peanut butter...how the hell...' He thought to himself as he saw the peanut butter that coated his fingers. He then looked up and his eyes grew wide.

Malik just looked at his hikkari and the angry/shocked expression on his face. He laughed when the peanut butter had fallen on to his head. He continued to laugh, unaware of his bug eyed hikkari as he stared at the kitchen ceiling in horror.

"MALIK!!!" He was pissed now. Not only had his yami wasted 5 containers of peanut butter, but it landed in his hair AND it was all over the ceiling. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT ISIS WILL DO TO YOU WHEN SHE GET'S HOME!?"

Malik snickering stopped, and momentary terror filled both Malik's and Marik's eyes.

"Shit...you're fucked when she gets home." Malik ran from the kitchen to the room he and Marik shared. "Good luck dealing with the wrath of your sister!"

"MALIK! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE RIGHT NOW DAMN IT!!" Marik yelled from in the kitchen. He was pissed beyond pissed. "Shit...and she's is PMSing this week too..." He ran up the stairs to get his yami and make him come down and help him clean up the mess before his sister got home.

Malik made sure to lock the door. He used all the locks that they had to use when Isis was PMSing. It was the only way to be safe from her wrath. One thing was for sure, Isis PMS= death, simple as that.

Marik took the stairs 2 at a time, getting up them faster that normal, before pounding on the door. "MALIK, RA DAMN IT OPEN THIS DOOR NOW!!!" He continues to pound on the door, unaware of the front door opening.

Isis walked into the house. "Marik, Malik, you guys home?" She asked in a cheerful tone. She was in a good mood. She was promoted at work and even got a bonus for all her hard work. "Guys?" She called out again as she set her purse on the coffee table.

'Shit, shit, shit, SHIT!!! The beast has returned to her lair!' Marik panicked as he scratched at the door. "Let me in, let me in! Onega!" he pleaded just loud enough for Malik to hear.

A scream was heard from the kitchen. "MARIK, MALIK, WHEN I FIND YOU TWO I'M GOING TO CUT OFF YOUR BALLS AND SHOVE THEM DOWN YOUR THROUTS!!!" Isis yelled as she found out what happened in the kitchen.

Marik began to scratch at the door even more before it finally opened, but just before he could get in, a hand reached out a grabed his ear. "Oww oww oww" he said as he was pulled up by his ear. Another set of 'oww oww oww!' was heard as Malik was also lifted up by his ear.

"So! You think you were going to get away with this ne?!" Isis asked them. They both gulped and looked at each other and then at Isis and back to each other again. 'Oh shit' was the look they gave to one another. 'we're in trouble now...'

End Chapter 1

Riss: Ok so how was it? I know it's a bit OOC but oh well lol. I want at least 5 reviews before I add chapter 2 Thanks!


	2. To clean or not to clean

Riss: Yay! I got 8 reviews thanks everyone /cheers/

Marik: Yeah...you got 8 reviews thanks to your evil twisted mind about me and my yami, and you love to see us suffer!

Riss: /sweat drop/ anno...that's not it Marik-kun...they reviewed cause they like my twisted thoughts

Marik: ...

Riss: v( )v Now on to chapter 2!

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh...not yet anyway /evil giggles/ So do not sue k k

/ mind link Marik to Malik /

{ mind link Malik to Marik }

[ from last chapter ]

"So! You think you were going to get away with this ne?!" Isis asked them. They both gulped and looked at each other and then at Isis and back to each other again. 'Oh shit' was the look they gave to one another. 'we're in trouble now...'

**Chapter 2**

"Ok! Who is the one responsible for this mess!" Isis asked...or more like yelled at the two blond, Egyptian boys. "Well?" She looked from Marik to Malik and back again. At the same moment they both pointed at the other.

"He did it!" They said in unison. They then glared at one another "What! I did not! You did!" The said at the same time. They both got up, ready to strangle the other.

"ENOUGH!" Isis yelled. Both teens stopped in their tracks, instead of hitting the other they clung to each other, holding on as if the other were a life line. "Ok...since you wont tell me who did this I will just have to punish you both." She rubbed her temples and got up from leaning on the counter.

/ I hate you, you know that... / Marik sulked.

Malik grinned at his hikkari. { No you don't, you just hate the fact that I got you in trouble as well }

Isis walked into the laundry room and pulled out a mop and bucket as well as a few sponges. "I want this kitchen spotless by the time I get back." She said as she handed Marik the mop and bucket and gave the sponges to Malik. "If it's not, then I'll make you clean it in maid uniforms, and don't think that I'm kidding." She said with a glare to the boys. They both just gulped.

"Yes ma'am..." They both grumbled and started their work.

"Stupid Isis...stupid yami..." Marik said to himself as he filled the bucket with soapy water. 'Why do I always get in trouble every time he fucks up...' He said to himself. The sound of the front door shutting signaled that Isis left the house.

Malik dunked the sponges into the bucket of water, and the rung them out, splashing soapy water on to his hikkari's face, hair, and lavender shirt.

"Hey!!!" The wet Marik glared at his yami.

Malik just laughed. The sight of his wet hikkari was just so funny...but cute. His light just pouted before grabbing the bucket of water and dumping it on top of his head. "What the...!" He sputtered, the water running into his mouth. "Ack! Gross, ewwwwwy!" He yelled as he ran to the sink, and washed out his mouth from the soapy water.

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Marik rolled on the ground laughing, getting even wetter from the drenched kitchen floor. His laughs were so loud that he didn't notice the front door opening before he heard a scream.

Both yami and hikkari fell silent. They feared the worse and had every right too. They slowly turned their head only to find an even more pissed off Isis. They then looked at the even more messed up kitchen. Water was every where, the floor was soaked and the walls had water stains on them and just about everything else were wet too.

Isis grinned at the terrified look on the boys faces. "Now, what did I tell you guys would happen if this kitchen wasn't spotless when I came home, hmm?" She held out 2 matching French maid dresses, one black with white and the other lavender with white.

Both boys' eyes grew wide in horror when the saw the frilly dresses.

"Lets see how they look on you guys."

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!"

"Muah ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

tbc

Riss: / giggles/ So what did you think?

Marik and Malik: Your evil...

Riss: I would like at least 5 more reviews okies ( ) thanks!


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